Monday, June 18, 2012

Father of the Blog

I spent my Father's Day with a wicked hangover (thanks Summer People), a jug of orange juice, and Preminger's BONJOUR TRISTESSE. I'm a bad son. But, let's talk movies:

Brandon,
Great show Saturday night; sorry we didn't get to hang longer. I apologize myself for misreading your post. I think I read it as an attack in response to me not really liking PROMETHEUS, which is pretty silly. Re-reading your post again, I realize that you do make a point of it being sarcastic and you even have a wink face in there! Sorry I completely missed all that. But, these types of misunderstandings seem to happen to all the time on here. Tone is hard to read through flat, impersonal writing. All I hear is my own voice reading it back to myself, and my voice always sounds a bit snotty.

Anyway,when you staged dived the other night, you kicked me in the nose. I think I deserved that for being a little bitch. Karma indeed. haha.

I watched THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL and loved it. I am very much a Ti West fan. He's got a signature style and I like it.

I don't know if there's really anything to get into over PROMETHEUS. I understand why you had a blast with it. It's got some really strong moments, and some awesome acting, but ultimately it just felt pointless to me. I think you saw it as big, dumb fun whereas I saw it as trying to be something more profound than any of the ALIEN movies and failing to deliver–sucking the fun right out of the thing. Maybe I need other pairs of glasses. But, as John can also attest, it's just TOO much fun not liking something. Much more enjoyable than actually liking it. ;)

With all these emoticons being used to clear up misunderstandings, goodbye film club; hello babysitter's club!!

John,

Anytime you wanna watch CHIMES, I'm down.

I really need to catch up on THE WIRE.

Ben,
I would very much be interested in a Rohmer post. I'm a big fan of all the Moral Tales. But, I do understand how hard it is to write about them. They are better movies to discuss in person, where one can free associate and communicate complexly they way the characters in the films do. Let's have a nice long chat about them the next time we all get together. Until then, let's settle for second best and try to unreasonably sum their many intricacies up in some vague and broad blog posts. Get on it!

Jason,
I've learned my lesson about letting sardonic posts get to me. No angry Jeff here...for now!

Listen, the only reason the formula for the first HOSTEL and the formula of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS gets to me is because I expected both to be original enough to forge their own path (in terms of narrative structure). HOSTEL to me was a disappointment because it was supposed to be really brutal and shocking. It's definitely brutal, but its over-reliance on a very standard thriller three act structure sort of took away a lot of the shock value for me. I don't know; I was expecting something more original in terms of structure (I had the same problem with the THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO). As I clarified to Brandon, the first HOSTEL isn't shit; it's just not my thing. I do think the second part is shit however because it shows no creativity and is designed purely for profit. And, yes, I reserve the right to call anything I want "shit" because I'm ultimately just a poor, skinny nerd typing on a blog that no one reads. : )

Speaking of which, I think it's perfectly okay to hate on TRANSFORMERS and call them shit. What's wrong with that? To quote BOOGIE NIGHTS: "if it looks like shit and it smells like shit...then it must be shit!" I saw the first TRANSFORMERS and was so bored I started looking at the architecture of the theater I was in. Where you see tireless hard work, I see rich people making an inferior product, selling it to us at a ridiculous price, and getting more stinking rich off of it. Michael Bay sucks. His movies are soulless money-grubbing pieces of shit. I don't care how much money they make or how many people love them. A lot of people love TWO AND A HALF MEN too. Does that make it above reproach? :). Appealing to populism and defending the extremely wealthy against the extremely minuscule is not the way to go, Jason! I think we need to start occupying Michael Bay's mansion now to teach you a lesson. UNLESS, he decides to grace the world with BAD BOYS 3. That would be delightful.

"And there are people out there without personalities. And I feel sorry for them."

I feel sorry for me too... :(

I was a bit saddened by the ending of THE INNKEEPERS as well. I really liked Claire. BUT the good thing is that we have the perfect set-up now for the sequel–THE INNKEEPERS 2: CLAIRE MEETS CASPER.

"No offense, Jeff, but I chalk up your inability to see these distinctions to your lack of experience with the genre. Granted, a lack of desire for familiarity with the genre doesn't help either, but relegating films for which you don't understand the appeal to "shit" may be a little harsh."

I think everyone in this club confuses me with Chris and vice versa. Brandon seems to have a running gag where he gives Chris credit for movies he's never seen when he's referring to something I wrote about a movie. Anyway, I think you are somehow lumping me under Chris's admitted horror hatred and overall neophyte awareness of the genre. I've seen lots of horror movies and have unconditionally loved many of them. I admitted to Brandon that my TRANSFORMERS analogy didn't work well with HOSTEL. I hate the first TRANSFORMERS and think it's terrible but don't feel the same way about the first HOSTEL. I understand the appeal of the first HOSTEL; hell I even understand the appeal of the second. Does that mean I can't criticize it? Since when did criticizing something for being awful turn into "you just don't understand it, man." That argument could be used for ANYTHING. That officer who shot the zombie in Miami? He wasn't trying to stop a horrible act; he just didn't understand the joy of chewing someone's face off. :)

"But I think maybe some people enjoy not liking movies (John, Jeff?) and feeling superior to them"

Guilty as charged! I paid 20 bucks to see THAT'S MY BOY opening night in 3D IMAX. It was awful and I loved every second of it! They say that money can't buy happiness, but every terrible Adam Sandler movie I see to flatter my already outrageous smugness continues to prove otherwise.

Oh, Jason, I love you buddy. :) Thank you for posting so much the other day.

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p.s. Who is every1 babysittin' 4 dis weeknd? 1 of des nites we need 2 have a slumba partay! ;) :*

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